Just This Once

I have incredible people in my life that care about me. My family is so supportive and I couldn't live without them. My brother is my best friend and my mom can dish out some of the best advice. All of my friends and those close to me always make sure that I'm doing what's best for me.So what's the problem?
Just this once I want to wake up with a plan. I want to take the hand I've been dealt, logically think of ways to handle things, and make an educated decision. Every day I attempt to do just that, however, input from the "peanut gallery" creeps in. Today I decided to change that. I'm at a point in my life where I am making the most important decisions I'll ever make. This time I want to make them alone. The only input I want or need is that of my Heavenly Father's.
Life is so crazy and I'm lucky if I even get my Plan D,E, or F, but I love it anyway. I'm so excited for what life has in store for me and wherever I end up I'll do my very best to make sure that it's where I'm meant to be.
To all of the amazing people I have in my life that care about me.... I LOVE YOU! I'll let you know my plans when I've decided and I'm halfway there ;)

Race to the Finish

"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success."

-Bruce Feirstein

This past week and a half has definitely been an uphill battle. Due to a large number of obstacles that were recently thrown at me, I have taken on the challenge of finishing an online anatomy class....in three weeks! The nursing program at BYU doesnt recommend it, countless people have told me I'm crazy, but here I am. This is my shot. My only chance at the BYU nursing program is hidden in this class. I have limited amount of time and I need an A. Everybody wish me luck!
It's been both physically and emotionally exhausting, but I won't give up without a fight! I took my first quiz after studying for six days and the result was a "decent" grade. I'm hoping that I've learned from the first test and can now do better in the next two weeks! Either way, I know that I did everything I could and if I don't get in, Heavenly Father must have another plan for me right?
This year I have learned a lot about myself and my Heavenly Father. I have learned that no matter how hard I try, I will always need my Heavenly Father to pick up the slack in life. He is aware of me and although he already has a plan for me, I know that what's important to me is important to him.
Today, I was able to take a quick break from all of the studying and run with my mom and step sisters in the Race for the Cure 5k in downtown Salt Lake. It was shocking to see how many inspiring people were there. One man was running for his three year old granddaughter. She had overcome cancer at 9 months old and has been in remisssion for 2 years now. The resiliency of little children is absolutely incredible! There were so many different kinds of people there, but it seemed that for that moment we were all the same. We were all there because we were survivors. Whether they had survived cancer, lost someone to cancer, or cared for someone while they had cancer, we were all survivors! It has been an amazing day! :)

Shanna and I at the finish line (The crowds were unbelievable!)My mom and I were running in memory of my Grandma, Sylvia Baskins

One Step Closer...

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."

-Mother Teresa

Today I became one step closer. One step closer to truly doing something worthwhile. It's amazing to me how much your past influences your future. I lost my best friend to Cancer when I was thirteen. After twelve years of miracles, it was time for my Dad to be called home to my Heavenly Father. Even though I know that it was his time, I decided then, that I would do whatever I can to someday save someone's life. So here I am, 19 and doing everything I can to earn a spot in a nursing program. That, for me, means saving someone's life. Today, however, I came to the realization that maybe I don't need to literally save someone's life to satisfy my goal. Being a nurse is my dream and I won't stop until my dream comes true, but I decided that I had another dream. I'm going to go to India.

This is one of the children I am going to meet. His life is drastically different from mine. He is a child of parents with leprosy. Due to an incredible organization called Rising Star Outreach, I have the once in a lifetime opportunity to go to India and and serve people who have literally lost everything.

Rising Star Outreach Mission
Our mission is to help the leprosy colonies become thriving, self-sufficient communities.

We are accomplishing this through three major initiatives:

• to educate the colony children in a safe, healthy environment


• to provide leporsy patients with their own small businesses using micro-finance


• to address the unique health challenges of the colonies with mobile medical units

Leprosy is curable. Rising Star Outreach seeks to defeat it. Even so, people who have contracted leprosy must often spend their lives completely isolated from society, although they may have been cured.

They, and members of their families, sometimes find it impossible to marry, recieve education, and find work. An estimated 100 million people worldwide are victims of this discrimination. In India, there are over 700 "leprosy colonies" where the stigma of leprosy is inevitably perpetuated.

If caught early enough, Leprosy can be stopped before it ravages a body and ruins a life.

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So here I go. On August 9th, I will be on a plane to India. I'll be living in a leprosy colony at the childrens' orphanage for 17 days. I will see beautiful children with the sweetest spirits who have been forced out of society because of their parents' condition. I will also meet people whose bodies have been destroyed by Leprosy. I have no doubt that this will be the most shocking and difficult experience of my life. I am absolutely terrified. That's how I know it will be worth it. I'm one step closer to achieving my goal. There's not a doubt in my mind that I will come back a different person, a better person.

Sixteen Candles

I had a very rude awakening tonight. First, it's important to recognize that for that last year of my life I have been living away from home, doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. This includes leaving without recieving permission from anyone and coming home anywhere from 2-6 am. Basically, I was living the dream. The greatest part of all of this was that I was an adult, and was being treated accordingly.
The rude awakening, then, lies in the fact that I have moved home for the summer. It's almost as if the second I walked through the door, I lost three years on my age and all of the freedom that I had treasured was gone. It's safe to say that I became very vulnerable at that moment and extremely susceptible to punishment. Punishment? I had forgotten what that was....until tonight. Forget the fact that I had already been coming in every night at 12:45 (on average about 3 hours earlier than when I was at college). I walked in tonight and recieved the most demeaning punishment a 19 year old can recieve. I was awarded a 12 o'clock curfew.
I use the term "awarded" very loosely. This award, if actually represented by a tangible trophy, would have been accompanied by a dvd box set of full house reruns and a copy of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie". Don't get me wrong, I love full house, but you get the point. To my mother, I was still a child and she was still in charge of my every move. The most frustrating part of all of this is that I have no control. For whatever reason, I have been forced to revert back to my epically frustrating 16th year. The only difference now is that I'm no longer wishing I'm an adult. I am one. I'm just the only one in this house who knows it.